Dad Jokes M-R

M is for magpie. What’s a bird’s favorite dessert? Magpie.

According to Merriam-Webster.com, a magpie is a bird with a long tail and black-and-white plumage, but it also refers to someone who chatters noisily.


N is for Neptune. If the planets could sing, which would have the best voice? Neptune.

According to Spacefacts.com, Neptune is the farthest planet from the sun in the solar system.


O is for oriole. What’s a bird’s favorite snack? Oriole cookies.

According to Animalstime.com, the Baltimore oriole is a North American bird that got its name because its coat is like that of the Lord of Baltimore.


P  is for paragraphs (sort of). What do you call two graphs? A pair of graphs.

Merriam-Webster.com refers to a paragraph as "a subdivision of a written composition that consists of one or more sentences, deals with one point or gives the words of one speaker." The paragraph symbol (¶) is often used to indicate a the beginning of a paragraph, Merriam-Webster says.


is for quarter horse (sort of). What happens when a singer who performs all day for loses a fourth of her voice? She becomes quarter hoarse.

Actually, according to Dictionary.com, a quarter horse is a horse that is bred in the U.S. for short races, usually a quarter of a mile.


R is for rideshare. What did the IRS agent say to the rideshare driver? Have you paid your taxis?

According to CommercialDriverHQ.com, a rideshare (such as Uber or Lift) is an arrangement between a vehicle owner and a person who enters at a pickup location and rides to a destination for a fee.


Bonus DJ

Q. What did one flame say to another?

A. Do you want to go out?